When we think about sex, sex with another person, that is, we all know (or should) that the preliminary acts before penetrative sex or the grand finale (an orgasm or a few, for many) are as or more important than the penetrative sex per se. However, sex with another can also be a turn-on that can culminate in a steamy solo sex session, fueled by the excitement of before. Sex as foreplay for self-love may not sound like an ideal but it can be.

Building the excitement

For those who enjoy sex and even after being satisfied with the most delicious sexual event with a partner, know that masturbating right after sex to get more pleasure out of your time is totally your right. Self sex and coupled sex don’t have to be mutually exclusive; by contrast, masturbation and sexual activity with a partner can happen as frequently as each need or agree to. Masturbation does not have to be a sign that there is any problem in the relationship, lack of attraction or lack of sexual satisfaction. Masturbation is a healthy component of life and a right.

The pressure for orgasms is removed

Especially for those who cannot reach orgasm, masturbation can be a viable relief to “get off” without the pressure to perform or to have an orgasm with a partner. Some people cannot have an orgasm with penetrative sex but they can very well pleasure themselves to climax and this is not an indication of inadequacy, lack of love, lack of attraction for a partner or even lack of sexual pleasure during a sexual encounter with somebody. Many women reach orgasm more easily with a vibrator or following their own touch. Conversely, many men with erectile difficulties find that their erections are of better quality during masturbation. This may have to do with the fact that during solo sex there are less distractions and each person knows what they like and how and can successfully deliver that to themselves.

Sex does not have to be the end of sex

Ultimately, sex does not have to be the end of arousal and sensuality. When sex with a partner is over, it does not mean that sex in general has to be. If the person so chooses, they can still continue to enjoy the erotic energy brought about by the sex they shared with another and continue to build on that momentum to pleasure themselves. An orgasm is not the finality of sex; pleasure is.

So next time you have sex with someone, think about how this can be the charge that powers your erotic battery and you may continue to use your sexual skills on yourself. Got turned on by sex? Keep it going!

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